ENJOY YOUR “SINGLE SEASON” AND KNOW GOD’S PLAN

(Written by Evang. Garlena Hines)

“For I KNOW the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and NOT of evil to give you an expected end”.  Jeremiah 29:11

As I minister to many singles, I often hear “If I were married, life would be better”.  What many fail to understand is that there is a season for every purpose under the heaven.  They totally misunderstand that in their single state they should use that time to develop a strong relationship with God.  Many enter into the covenant of Holy Matrimony with their expectations, wants, desires and when things seem to be a little rocky, they want out.  Many have been married less then six months and because they were not following the plans of God, they no longer desire the covenant that they’re in.  I can’t begin to tell you how often many hurt women go into a relationship seeking healing from that man.  Many times they want the man to do and become what only God can do and who God is.   I remember when I felt this way and wanted to “skip my season of singleness” but the more intimate time I spent with God I understood his plan for my life.  In my instance, I was looking for someone to fill the void of being loved, validated and appreciated.  One day as I was preaching at a Womens Conference, God said, “Man can’t validate what they didn’t create because they can’t understand it”.  No one loves me, understands me or know me like God.  I then begin to seek after God a little more with a lot more sincerity.  Getting married was no longer a “priority” but developing a stronger relationship with God was my top priority.  I became satisfied with walking in my season of singleness and knowing the plan God has for my life.  Yes, I agree,  waiting on GOD can be challenging and sometimes discouraging but it’s definitely worth it.  The standards of society have made us believe that you are a “misfit” if you are not in a relationship by a certain age or you’re considered an “old maid” if not married by your middle thirties.  Because we are BELIEVERS and know that God’s time is not in sync with society, then we can have steadfast hope to believe that GOD is in complete control of our lives. 

As you wait in this season of singleness, I challenge you through this article to see if you are lining up with the “plan of GOD” for your life.  The Boardroom of Heaven has conducted a meeting and you are the subject of the day.  The plan for your life has been established, the goals, failures, successes, trials, temptations, ups and downs, etc. have all been mapped out.  The blueprint for this architectural structure called “human” has been designed.  I ask you…have you made an appointment to pick up your original copy of the blueprint for your life? Do you fully understand GOD’S PLAN for your life?  Are you walking in the PLAN of GOD or are you still doing things your way?

Do you KNOW God’s plan for your life?   I’ve ministered to many who have confused their plan with God’s plan.  Their plan is to have a relationship, so they pray and when someone shows up in their life, they automatically assume “this is God’s plan for me”.  Although you’ve prayed and someone has come into your life, you must still seek GOD for clarity to ensure you are not receiving a “counterfeit”.  While GOD wants you blessed, the enemy wants you destroyed.  Because many don’t understand God’s plan, they repeat the same cycle of pain--relationship after relationship, drama after drama--and they completely miss the will of God for their lives.  Jeremiah 29:11 says “for I KNOW the plans I have for you”…. So how do we learn God’s plan?

(a)   Study of the Word

(b)   Constant prayer

(c)   Relationship with GOD

(d)   Fellowship with other believers

(e)   Intimacy with Him

If you find yourself consumed with wanting a “relationship with the opposite sex” but NOT consumed with spending quality time with GOD, then this is a “red flag”.  As singles, our desire must be to please God and TRUST HIM to send that mate in our “season”.      

What are you doing with your time?  Paul says, “But I want you to be without care.  He who is unmarried cares for the things of the LORD – how he may please the LORD”.  In your season of singleness, how are you an asset to the body of Christ?  Paul says “I want you to be without care”.  He understood that single individuals have more freedom to be in ministry then married individuals.  The time you spend in prayer should have no limit, the ministries that you join are at your discretion because you have time to “please the Lord”.  When was the last time that you made a date with God?  The last time you were intimate with Him and allowed Him to impart in your spirit?  How faithful are you to your church?  Are you A.W.O.L. (absent without leave) when it comes to Bible Study, church ministries?  Can the Pastor count on you to up build the ministry or is your attention diverted somewhere else?  Just a few months ago, I fully understood this statement from Paul.  I am not in a relationship and as I minister to those who are, I realized that I am free from the “drama and stress” that sometimes come along with relationships.  I am free from trying to please my husband while trying to please God.  My time is my time and when God sends me in the vineyard, I am free to fulfill the call.  Not that I’m speaking against marriage, but I know there is a great level of commitment and compromise needed in relationships, especially marriage.  I also know this is my season of singleness and I am very content.  I challenge you to review your agenda and make sure you’re spending your single time wisely.

Walk in your call:  John 15:16 says, “Ye have not chosen me but I have chosen you and ordained you that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain.  While understanding the plan of God for your life, understand that God has specifically chosen you for a particular ministry.  When you look at the word “chosen” it suggest that others have been reviewed for the position you are holding, but you were chosen to carry it out.  I have a vivid imagination and I would love to think that God sat in heaven crossing his legs, looking over the world and choosing me.  This is just my imagination!!  As you spend quality time in the Word, prayer and intimacy with God, He will begin to reveal His plan for your life.  The scripture says He has chosen you.  Let’s explore that.  Through everything you’ve been through, the mistakes made, mishaps in your life, bad decisions about relationships, God has chosen you.   Many think that God chose us when we accepted him, but before the foundation of the earth he had a plan for us.  Paul says in Romans 8:29 “For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be confirmed to the mage of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren”.  We were not something thought of at a later date because God didn’t have a plan for us.  Think about it, there are millions of people God could have chosen to minister in a particular area, but He chose you.  Not only has He chosen you, but He ordained (declared it in the heavenlies) that you would be the one to minister to a designated group of people. Do you know that some people will not accept Christ until  you minister to them?  Some woman will not be healed until she hears your testimony.  Some young girl will repeat the same cycle of pain until you minister healing to her.  What an honor God has bestowed that He chose you because HE knows the PLAN He has for you.

I pray as you read this article that you would KNOW the plan for your life and if not, seek HIS face, and that plan will be revealed.  If you find yourself in the same type of unhealthy relationships, I encourage you to get into relationship with God and allow him to fill the voids in your life.  If you are consumed with marriage and you are trying it your way, remember Isaiah 54:5 says…”For thy maker is thy husband”….  The body of Christ needs you, refuse to waste any more time doing it your way, but seek after God, for HE KNOWS THE PLANS HE HAS FOR YOU. 

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